Females Motivated by Love

I got a request to talk about love and romance in fantasy novels, especially concerning female characters’ motivations being driven by love and if those motivations diminish who the character is. I found this topic to really make me think. What do I think about females being motivated by love and romance? 

If you follow the classes on my channel, I discuss a character in the Dragonlance Chronicles, by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, named Laurana who makes many of her decisions because she is in love with Tanis Half-Elven. She completely leaves her home to chase him, she follows him on a dangerous quest where she must emotionally grow up very quick, and she even gets captured thinking she was going to see him on his death bed. Of course, there are many characters in fantasy novels that are motivated by love or to gain the love of another. Some characters, like the main character, Csorwe, in The Unspoken Name by A.K. Larkwood, destroy their entire life and burn every bridge they have for the sake of love. What does this say about these female characters, and is their character diminished for wanting to risk everything for the hope of winning the heart of another?

I can’t say I feel that being motivated by love diminishes female characters, but love is one of the ultimate motivators. In the end, it has a wide range of results that come from this type of motivation. It can definitely lead to bad decisions in some cases. In others, it can lead to strength the women didn’t know they had. Sometimes, a character can experience both in the space of the same story. 

Of course, there can also be different connotations between a woman being motivated by love and a man being motivated by love, especially if the actions taken are seen as stupid, immature, dangerous, or naive. When a man does something to chase a man or woman, it is often seen as romantic and dashing. If a woman does it, the reaction is that she is being a silly desperate girl. Women really only get a positive response when they are motivated into being stronger more capable people.

For me personally, I do not look down on a female character for doing something because she loves someone else (even if it is not guaranteed to work out). I feel it is just as romantic for a woman to want to chase after a man or woman as it is for a man to chase a man or woman. Even if that woman gets herself into a tough spot she wasn’t ready to handle because of it. However, I do think that a woman needs to assess her situation and assess why she is having to chase the person she loves. Does the relationship give enough back as she is willing to put in to it? Is the person someone who will appreciate what the woman is putting on the line? Will the person love her back and give her a good relationship? Is he/she worth it? Because sometimes these women characters give and give and give and she doesn’t seem to get anything in return which isn’t fair at all, and should make her question what kind of relationship she is chasing.

Going back to the Laurana example from earlier, she emulates a large range of these different types of reactions to love. In the beginning we see her as the naïve women who many might say is stupid and desperate as she leaves her home and her family to chase after Tanis. She has little understanding of the dangers she is moving towards or how the real world works. She just wants the love from a man who left her many years before and promised to return to her and didn’t. Is this move smart or thought through? Not really. It is a very extreme passion of the moment move. However, her chasing after Tanis also gives her an opportunity she never had before. She learns more about the world around her. She learns how different the world is compared to what she thought, what real battle is like, and even about the different races of beings that share the world with her. She slowly morphs into someone new, someone stronger. She even becomes a leader that can handle making tough calls and coordinating battles in war. She grows and flourishes. And that would never happen if she hadn’t been rash and followed the man she loved just to win him back.

Where she gets into trouble is when she continues to make decisions strictly based on love and on a man who she has continued to get nothing from. She hears from the enemy (and a woman who Tanis left her for in the past) that Tanis is dying and asking for her as a last request. Many characters try to warn her not to go because it’s likely a trap. Laurana doesn’t care if it is a trap or not. She is going to go no matter what just in case it is indeed true. In this case, I wonder how smart of a choice this is on her part. She is willing to risk her life and the fight she is the leader of for the faint chance that the enemy is being honest. Tanis has given her nothing to show he wants her or will treat her good or that he isn’t in fact back with the other woman again. That is where I question why she makes the choice she does. Maybe she should have stopped to think over her options before just jumping in. Then, as a reader, whatever she decided, I could feel more confident that she made the best choice for herself.

Even in the end, Laurana decides to take Tanis back when he says he has decided he wants her for sure. And part of that ending is bittersweet. She does get the love she has been fighting for the whole time, and she is someone who is stronger and more experienced, but in many ways it doesn’t feel like he earned her forgiveness. I do like that it is a more mature relationship with Laurana going into said relationship with her eyes open to who Tanis really is. However, it took a lot of back and forth on Tanis’s part. He didn’t treat her like she deserved and made her chase him around. Does he really deserve her? Does this count as her efforts paying off?

As you can see, Laurana shows us many different sides to what love motivations can lead a woman to do. Some good, some foolish. I don’t think in any way that she was diminished or stupid for following her heart. I think in many ways she was brave and definite. Laurana was going to go after what she wanted despite the dangers it posed to her. It also transforms her into someone even more wonderful, respectful and strong. It gave her many more positives than it did negatives. She even got what she wanted in the end, and it has the foundation to be a much more mature and healthy relationship than it was before. But, we also see that it was her flaw and led her to make choices that weren’t as smart. She isn’t perfect just as no character is. This makes her relatable and shows her good loyal qualities.

Now, being motivated by love doesn’t always have to be a woman chasing after a man in the hopes of winning him in the end. There are lots of fantasy stories that have women motivated by love who already have their man or woman. The motivation doesn’t end when the relationship is solidified. Loving another person constantly leads to doing all sorts of things. The only difference, is society tends to look at women with a more positive and romantic view because she is doing something for the partner she loves so much. She is seen as strong, loyal, and romantic instead of stupid, silly, and desperate.

A good example of this is Beatrice De Novo from the Elemental Mysteries series by Elizabeth Hunter. In the first novel she falls in love with a vampire named Giovanni, but at the end he leaves her and it devastates her. At the beginning of the second novel, she is at the same point as Laruana was. For several years she is mysteriously left plane tickets to Giovanni’s house in Chile. She never gets to see him or talk to him, but she still goes. Even she wonders if she is simply being desperate. This leads her to try and move on. She decides the relationship is not giving her what she wants from it, and even though she loves him, she’s going to let him go instead of wasting her life away pinning after him. But then, Giovanni comes back, redeems himself, and wins her back.

From there, we see the struggles they face in their lives as a couple. There are several times that Beatrice puts her life on the line for Giovanni. This includes keeping him out of danger as well as willingly going into danger to help him reach his goals. She even goes through the dangerous process of becoming a vampire so she can have a life forever with the man she loves. Becoming a vampire is a risky process since a person must be completely drained of all their blood before they can be turned. It was very easy for her to die instead of making the transition. Afterwards, she even learns how to fight with Tai-chi and weapons training so she can go into battle right alongside him. Most of her decisions are based on being a good partner to the love of her life.

With all that said, I think we should judge men and women more equally when it comes to decisions based on love and romance. I think we as readers shouldn’t berate or condemn women for making less than wise decisions for love. Instead, I think we should hope that these women make the choices that are best for them, if that is chasing after their love then that’s what they should do. It can lead to both good things and bad things, but that is how life often works even in fantasy. Every decision goes somewhere, and no one can always know for sure what the best choice is, and love is often something worth fighting for. Hopefully the person she is fighting for, also fights for her back. 

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I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic as well. If you have something you’d like to say or want to discuss it in more detail, please leave a comment below! I hope both the Laurana and Beatrice examples help you see the different results of how love motivates a character in different ways; however, if these examples don’t work well for you, please let me know, so I can help give a better one for you. I would really love to hear your thoughts and ideas about this topic!